Time for my annual update lol A few changes in my life since the last time I wrote: Last winter I hopped a flight to Ottawa to visit a friend for a few days and fell in love with the city. The amazing scenery, the unbelievably friendly people, the “big small town” vibe, the seemingly weekly fireworks shows, the beautiful French girls…I was instantly hooked. As I sat on my friend’s couch getting ready to pack for my flight back to Calgary, I day-dreamt about how someday it would be nice to live here in our nation’s capital. Then I glanced around and realized hey, I’ve got a backpack full of clean underwear and my laptop with me, what else do I really need? So I cancelled my flight home, spent a few weeks sleeping on my friend’s couch while I looked for an apartment, and had my few meager personal belongings shipped across Canada to me. As a single guy who has no kids, no responsibilities, and makes his living off a laptop, I figure it’s alright to make a drastic impulse decision toward new adventures now and then.
The other big change is a bit more personal, but hey I’m sure no one is actually reading this anyway lol The past few years I’ve been struggling with having low energy. It was difficult to even get out of bed, and I’d sleep through most of the day. It got so bad that I couldn’t stay awake for more than a 4-6 hours at a time before my eyes would get too drowsy to stay open and my head would get foggy and feel like I had been up for days…then I’d sleep for like 10 hours, wake up for another few hours, and then pass out again. It made it unbelievably hard to get anything done. I would basically be able to keep myself awake long enough to get my work done, but I would have to break it up throughout the day and it was a struggle. If I managed to get anything besides work done, like grocery shopping or doing laundry, I was completely wiped out.
I chalked this up to just being lazy and not having solid self-discipline. I’d read all these inspirational stories of indie devs who are working 3 jobs at a time and coding till 4am to bring their dream to life, and watch all these motivational videos on YouTube with guys shouting about how you have to forget to eat because you’re so busy working and you have to work while the other guys are sleeping and you have to be willing to stay awake for 3 days straight to become successful, and I’d just think “how are these guys DOING this?? I can’t even stay awake and focused for a full 8 hours in a row! If I was working a day job for 8 hours, I would come home and instantly collapse till the next morning. Why am I so lazy compared to everyone else?” I had all these good intentions of developing my games and getting them out there but just kept hitting this wall.
It was pretty frustrating…looking back it seems obvious that there was a problem but this all crept up on me slowly over a few years and I was just barely managing to work around it enough to get by and somehow managing to pay my rent, so I just kind of accepted that I was getting old or something and tried to adapt.
It wasn’t depression, because I was happy with my life all this time. I’m a pretty upbeat optimistic guy day-to-day and I don’t have much to complain about, so when I was awake I was psyched and ready to be productive and take on the world…but a few hours later I’d be curled up on my bed passing out.
Our cold dark snowy winter has just begun and a friend texted me to tell me to remember to take some Vitamin D because we won’t be getting as much sunlight. He had his Vitamin D levels tested and they were extremely low so his doctor had him load up on it. I didn’t really know anything about vitamins and was going to brush his advice off until I started Googling what Vitamin D does. I kept reading all these stories from people who were describing the same kind of problems I was having and how it turned out they were Vitamin D deficient and when they started taking Vitamin D they suddenly had a new zest for life.
I was skeptical, but kept reading and realized that because I live in Canada and I’m cooped up in my apartment with sun-blocking shades pulled over my windows all day, and most of the time I work at night when the sun is down (I’m naturally a night person) and grab food at convenience stores in the middle of the night, and if I go out to a bar it’s at night, etc. I really don’t ever see the sun and don’t get any Vitamin D…and if my friend who works a day job, goes for walks in the sun now and then, doesn’t have any energy problems etc., is extremely deficient, then I must be even worse off than him.
So I grabbed a bottle of Vitamin D3 to try, and holy CRAP. I can’t even fully explain what a life-changer it is!
I’ve only been taking it for a couple weeks but even in the first couple days I noticed an immediate difference. I’m typing this blog post at the tail end of being wide awake and clear-headed for 16 hours straight which is something I haven’t been able to do in literally 3 or 4 YEARS. Like even the notion that I’ve been awake for that long today blows my mind. It was so bad that I have all these weird habits built up where like, after a few hours I instinctively FEEL like it’s time to go over to my bed to lay down and sleep except then I realize “oh wait, I’m not tired at all…wtf do I do now? I guess…I’ll…uhhh keep working? Is this how normal people live?? No wonder everyone seems so much more productive than me!” and then I just keep doing productive things instead of sleeping lol I went from consistently only being awake for a groggy 4-8 hours a day (with naps separating those hours) to consistently being awake for a sharp focused 14-18 hours a day with no need for napping. I feel like Bradley Cooper in Limitless where he’s suddenly tapping into his full brain-power. From my perspective it’s like time has slowed down, or days have extended in length because I’m now getting 3 or 4 times the day I was getting before.
If you’re reading this blog about gameDev, then you’re probably a nerd like me. And if you’re a nerd like me, then you probably don’t go run around in the sunshine all day like normal people apparently do. If that’s the case, hit your doctor up sometime and get your Vitamin D levels checked, especially if you feel like you don’t have much energy or if you get really lethargic and demotivated in the winter (which you might just have chalked up to Seasonal Affective Disorder and assumed you have to live with it). With the abundance of indoor cubicle jobs and the popularity of working from home these days, a huge portion of the population is said to be Vitamin D deficient and a bottle of Vitamin D3 is super cheap. Give it a try and see if it helps…the difference between my days now and just a few weeks ago is a complete 180.
It’s hard not to sound like a fanatic but man, if I had figured this out a few years ago I would probably have a respectable library of my own personally designed and developed games floating around out there. Can’t change the past so no point dwelling on that, but now that I’m firing on all cylinders I think 2015 is going to be an awesome year for me and my adventures in gameDev.
I’ve got some plans coming up for this winter, so stay tuned! ;)